This month I feel a bit like I've hit a wall as far as life as a 20-something goes.
I have all the ingredients that is often thought necessary to make your twenties great: fab friends, a nice flat, a super boyfriend and a job I enjoy. I'm hugely appreciative of this, don't get me wrong. I've been ridiculously lucky in my life so far and this year is no exception.
However, I can't help but feel a little lost right now.
Have you ever felt like you're sort of wandering, going with the flow in a direction you're not sure you want to stick with, yet you have no idea which direction it is you're supposed to go? We spend so long in school, college and sometimes university, meeting people, learning and being guided towards an end goal. If we're ones of the lucky ones, we end up achieving that goal (or finding something that makes us equally as happy) and then we're left to make our own way.
A couple of years on from experiencing this, I've found myself with everything that was expected of me and everything that I desired, yet I'm still feeling a bit empty.
It's the sort of time that everyone predicted, where a lot of your friends are all now getting engaged/married/becoming parents. I'm sort of jealous of these people. Not because of what they have in regards to husbands and kids however (jeez, I can't even look after myself) but because they know what they want and they're embarking on a new path.
I could get a new job,
I could move house,
I could go travelling for a couple of years.
There's nothing keeping me in one place at the minute and I'm free to make all the decisions I want. So what am I complaining about? Should I actually just reflect on what I already have, be grateful and settle in this humdrum flow of unsurety?
I'm a huge advocate of the phrase 'if you want something then go get it' but even I'm having trouble right now figuring out exactly what it is that I want.
Let me know if you're feeling the twenty-something struggle, too.